April 02, 2008

Are you a people pleaser?

Um, no - I can honestly say no, I'm not a people pleaser.

In fact, my mother says that from the time I learnt to say no, I haven't stopped!

Seriously though, we can all get into the trap of wanting to please people and never considering the effect on our own families.

Some of us also try to be what other people expect and we don't listen to our own hearts and feelings.

A good few years ago I worked at a certain company which shall remain nameless and I got a reputation as someone dependable.

This is a good trait. Right?

But because I was always the one people could depend on, I ended up doing a LOT more than I needed to or that was even required of me.

And I almost got burnt out.

Because my own work was secondary to everyone else's, I'd say "yes" to other people and do their things during normal work hours, and then end up staying late to finish my own work.

Until I wised up and realised that I'd slipped into the role of a people pleaser.

So how did I stop?

Well, for starters, I learnt to say no. And that no muscle was hard to flex sometimes but it got easier the more I used it.

Also, no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to please everyone.

A coaching client told me recently that she feels empowered and proud of herself the more she stops trying to please people and stands up for herself.


Where in your life are you being a people pleaser? More importantly, why?

What can you do differently from now onwards?

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