November 20, 2007

Talking about Stay at Home moms - part 2

This is the second part of the talk-about discussion.

Read part 1 here.

Would you prefer to work part-time?

  1. Yes, half day. Then I can fetch the kids from school.
  2. Maybe. I BELIEVE ½ days would be ideal for me…3 kids??
  3. Probably - 2 or 3 early to home afternoons a week would be very suitable.
  4. but only half day
  5. I think this is probably the ideal situation as it allows me to still use my intellectual capacity and have time for my kids.
  6. I would love to work part time as it means that I will earn an income but get time to spend with my daughter as well, but am unable to for the same amount of income earned for full day
  7. Yes
  8. Yes, that is why I do.
  9. yes

Do you work because of need or because that's just the way it is over here?

  1. Need!
  2. Definitely because of the need
  3. That's the way it is over here
  4. Having kids is expensive, there is definitely a need for 2 incomes. SA is also big on status so most people want it all - the house, car, job & kids so they compromise time with the kids to be able to afford all the nice stuff.
  5. Both, I can't not work as we wouldn’t be able to afford the things that we have by surviving on one income!
  6. Need
  7. We definitely need my salary, but I would work even if we didn’t.
  8. because of need

Do you feel conflicted about having to work (if you do)?

  1. No
  2. YES!!
  3. Not at all. My mother worked - I would not have gone to school otherwise, my grandmother worked - just with no financial pay for it.
  4. Yes I'm missing out on my son's childhood & I have debts to pay
  5. I definitely work because I need to
  6. Yes, as I feel guilty about not being able to spend enough time with my kids.
  7. At stages in my life I do feel conflicted, I feel guilty to work sometimes as I neglect my family in so many ways, it is also difficult to balance work and family in this day and age to ensure that each gets the correct amount of work and attention. I also feel guilty because the area in which I live has many stay at home moms who collect their children half day, it is difficult for me as my daughter is friends with most of those children and she often goes home with her friends half day to play, when she comes home though I am asked why I work long hours and pick her up late when her friends get to go home early and do things with their mothers!
  8. Yes, working full day puts a Mom on a helluva guilt trip most of the time which is why a half day position would be perfect if one can afford it (the best of both)
  9. NOT AT ALL. My kids get spoiled rotten because we have a little bit of extra finance to go around. They also appreciate me more when I come home as they don’t see me all day.
  10. yes, now that I am a mom

Here are my observations:
A large part of the debate seems to be a cultural thing due to the inequalities rendered by apartheid. Black and coloured people really didn't have much of a choice about whether or not to work. ("we've worked so hard to get into good positions at work; why would we want to mess that up by staying at home?")

There's confusion in people's minds about essentials and luxury items. Many people think that giving their child(ren) everything they want is necessary and that's why they "must" work.

At the end of the day, we all make our own decisions but all I want to do is highlight the fact that there are other options and maybe we should all think about what's possible!

I'm keen to hear what YOU think.

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1 comment :

Anonymous said...

I don't have any children. However, my mom stayed at home with me until I was 13 years old. Then she had to go back to work for financial reasons. My dad is a farmer and that income changes from year to year, even season to season.

Honestly, I wish that she was at home with me during my teen years as well.